How to negotiate a counteroffer without burning bridges or losing leverage

Accepting a new job only to receive a counteroffer from your current employer is one of those awkward career moments that tests both your diplomacy and your decision-making. I’ve guided clients through this scenario more than once, and I’ve sat on the recruiter side seeing how employers react. Here’s a practical, experience-based playbook for handling a counteroffer that protects your reputation, preserves leverage, and helps you make the clearest decision for your career.

Pause before you respond

When your manager calls to say “we can match it” or “tell me what you want,” your first instinct might be to answer immediately — especially if you’re tempted to stay. Instead, slow down. A rushed reply can burn bridges or lock you into an arrangement you didn’t fully assess.

Say something like: “Thank you — I appreciate you letting me know. I need a little time to consider this properly. Can we schedule a meeting tomorrow?”

This short pause achieves three things: it signals professionalism, it prevents emotional decisions, and it gives you time to gather facts.

Gather the facts

Counteroffers aren’t only about salary. Ask for clear details in writing and probe the underlying issues that led you to look elsewhere. Use questions like:

Request the answers by email so there’s a record. This protects you and helps you compare the counteroffer to the new employer’s package objectively.

Assess the root cause

In my experience, most counteroffers address symptoms (money) rather than causes (career progression, recognition, workload, or culture). Ask yourself: Why did I leave in the first place? If your reasons were about stalled promotion, poor line management, or toxic culture, a pay-rise won’t fix that.

Write out the reasons you wanted to move and score how well the counteroffer addresses each reason. This exercise often makes the choice clearer.

Compare offers side-by-side

Make a simple table to compare the two options — your current employer’s counteroffer and the new job. Include tangible and intangible items: base salary, bonuses, pension, holiday, working pattern, role stretch, learning opportunities and culture fit.

Seeing the differences visually helps you keep leverage — you’re comparing facts, not feelings.

Maintain professional leverage

Leverage here is your credibility and future option value. You keep both by being transparent without burning bridges:

Scripted responses that preserve the relationship

If you want to stay but want to manage expectations, try:

“Thank you — that’s generous and I’m grateful. My decision isn’t only financial; it’s also about my career path. I’d like to see a written plan outlining the role changes and timelines we discussed. Can HR put something together?”

If you intend to leave despite the counteroffer, you can say:

“I appreciate the offer — it means a lot. After careful thought, I’ve decided to proceed with the new opportunity. I want to make sure the transition is smooth and I’m happy to help handover my work.”

Both responses are direct, respectful and preserve the relationship for future networking and references.

Recognise common red flags

Watch for these signals that a counteroffer is a short-term fix:

If red flags are present, trust your initial instincts.

Practical timing and notice considerations (UK-specific)

Remember UK notice periods and contract terms. If you’re within a probation period or subject to a fixed-term contract, the legal position can be different. Check your contract and, if necessary, get HR to confirm in writing how a counteroffer affects your notice, pension auto-enrolment contributions, and any garden leave arrangements.

Also consider tax and benefits timing: a one-off gross bonus might be taxed differently than an uplift to base salary, and your pension contributions may not immediately increase to match a higher salary.

Confirm and follow up in writing

Whatever you decide, get it in writing. If you accept the counteroffer, request a written contract amendment or a signed letter confirming the salary, role changes, progression timetable and any training/benefits. If you decline, provide written notice according to your contract and offer to support a professional handover.

Example handover offer:

“I’ll complete the key project documentation and arrange handover meetings with the team. I can be available for questions after I leave for up to two weeks via email.”

Think long-term

Finally, weigh how this decision affects your career reputation. People move roles for complex reasons and leaving after a counteroffer is common. But research and my client experience show that many who accept counteroffers leave again within 12–18 months because the underlying issues weren’t fixed. Be honest with yourself about whether staying will genuinely move your career forward.

If you’d like, I can review the details of a specific counteroffer and help you map the options. A clear checklist and a neutral second opinion usually make the choice far less stressful.